There are two ways to respond to new situations or new things: either it scares you or makes you curious. In other words: you feel fear or you feel enthusiasm. It may seem as if that feeling is inspired from above, but it is a choice whether you ultimately let yourself be guided by fear or convert that fear into enthusiasm and embrace the new full force ahead .
Of course we are talking about those typical fear moments. For example: the fear of catching that spider and putting it out. To apply for that challenging new position. To make that business trip where you don’t quite know where you will end up. That is slightly different from an anxiety disorder. Tip: this way you know that you (or someone close to you) have an anxiety disorder.
But how do you do that, convert that fear into enthusiasm? By accepting that you feel anxious and then choosing to go right through it.
As soon as we feel fear, we look for ways to avoid having to feel that fear. We prefer to avoid it. Because fear stands for something bad, something we want to avoid. We think. But fear can also be a sign that we are in an unknown situation. That we should do something we’ve never done before, for example. We don’t feel so comfortable. And then that fear gives you a signal: you are now leaving your comfort zone.
Of course, there are many situations where fear is a real thing: that warning of external dangers. Your intuition telling you that something is about to happen that you are not ok with at all. And you shouldn’t be. You always have to watch out for real dangers. But there are also many situations in which we feel a fear, which may not be completely real . Fear is a feeling and feelings are not always true. You are not your feeling and you can therefore disconnect yourself from your feelings.
Fear doesn’t have to be a bad thing
And what if you use those feelings of fear as a signal for something positive? Uh, wait a minute, there is nothing positive about fear at all, right? Fear doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing. Because leaving your comfort zone can actually yield a lot of good things. It is precisely by overcoming your fears that you can grow as a person. And fear shows you where you can still grow.
In such situations, fear does not necessarily have to be your enemy. In fact, you can make it your ally. As soon as you feel fear that does not indicate obvious external danger (pain, for example), you can use those feelings as a lesson. Apparently you are about to do something that will make you grow. And don’t you want to go through that? You want to grow, don’t you? Don’t let your feelings of fear hold you back, but make a conscious choice to accept the challenge, even though you may be a little scared.
Replace fear with curiosity
Right through your fear: how do you do that? Ask yourself the following question: if I don’t do what I’m afraid of right now, will I look back at this moment with regret in twenty years? If the answer is yes, you know that you are on the brink of a small radical self-revolution. Now is your time to grow! Fear is the signal that you are going to do something very, very brave. And that’s great, isn’t it ?!
Keep your eye on the prize
You don’t have to push those fears away. Because you feel them, so they are there. The key is to accept them. You don’t have to solve them, they don’t have to go: they are welcome. Your feelings only really bother you when you wish they weren’t there. While life is full of things that are uncomfortable, with pain and sorrow. You cannot and cannot just hide it away. The trick is to live with your feelings and so is fear.
Let fear teach you a lesson: apparently I find this difficult or scary, but I’m not going to give way to this. You consciously make the choice to go through your fears. Ultimately, these feelings also pass away. And just imagine how proud and strong you will soon feel, because you just did what you feared! Keep your eye on the prize , as the English say.
And give yourself credit: so what that you feel a little fear or panic? You are brave that you are now where you are now and that you do not let those fears hold you back.
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it” . Was signed: a very wise person.
A few tips to get rid of feelings of anxiety quickly:
- Tell yourself you are safe. That works better than telling yourself not to indulge or persevere.
- Breathe in and out deeply 3 times. Find a quiet spot, for example the toilet.
- Remember that you have survived everything in your life so far (otherwise you would not be here now) and that you can have a lot more than you think!